Fat Lady Trying

I know, I know. Oddly, this entry will be in RED. Red for blood (blood > pain, got it?) I went to my new Slimming World class yesterday. I couldn't believe it!! =(

Text to Husband:

"Completely disgusted with myself! Congrats to THE ONLY person in history to actually GAIN weight in their first week with a slimming club! Feeling like throwing myself in front of a bus, to end with this waste of space, but I'm staying for the meeting though. (actually, it's raining) But have a knot in my throat, feel like crying. Damn! I don't think I'm good for ANYTHING! =( "

Bless him. His reply was:

"hey bewt, come one, we had muito (muito=a big one) breakfast in tenby... and u didnt train this week. u can do it, u proved it before. dont give up ok. x amo voce muito! (I love you so much!)<3 =) x "

So cute, isn't it? Why don't I buy it, though? Gosh, honest, I wish Gok Wan would come to my rescue with a legion of "we can - and will - make you feel/look good" people, including a psychologist, a personal trainer, a personal chef and his cute, adorable self and take me away for 6 months!

I guess I need to be "brain washed" to go back to thinking that I'm worth something and to find deep (reeeeeally deep inside of me) that sparkle of love for life and for myself that I once had.

Yesterday, we found out that there's a girl in our group who's in the last Slimming World magazine. She's lost 10st(!!!!!) and is my inspiration of the week.

As for my lousy "fattening" week, I guess I'm gonna try to steer clear of any chocolates, sweets, sugary stuff. Just for this week. I won't hurt, I'm sure. I'm also going to complete (will do my best) my food diary and FIT weekly log (AND try to stick to it this time!) I'll try a different approach: I'll complete it beforehand and do what's in it as if it were a "work agenda".
I'll come back to you about that next week.

=)
Fatgirl x

p.s. First online shopping EVER!!!!
ASDA, I <3 YOU!!! .... prepared for the week.