I know, I know. Oddly, this entry will be in RED. Red for blood (blood > pain, got it?) I went to my new Slimming World class yesterday. I couldn't believe it!! =( 


 Text to Husband: 


 "Completely disgusted with myself! Congrats to THE ONLY person in history to actually GAIN weight in their first week with a slimming club! Feeling like throwing myself in front of a bus, to end with this waste of space, but I'm staying for the meeting though. (actually, it's raining) But have a knot in my throat, feel like crying. Damn! I don't think I'm good for ANYTHING! =( " 


 Bless him. His reply was:


 "hey bewt, come one, we had muito (muito=a big one) breakfast in tenby... and u didnt train this week. u can do it, u proved it before. dont give up ok. x amo voce muito! (I love you so much!)<3 =) x " 


 So cute, isn't it? Why don't I buy it, though? Gosh, honest, I wish Gok Wan would come to my rescue with a legion of "we can - and will - make you feel/look good" people, including a psychologist, a personal trainer, a personal chef and his cute, adorable self and take me away for 6 months! 


 I guess I need to be "brain washed" to go back to thinking that I'm worth something and to find deep (reeeeeally deep inside of me) that sparkle of love for life and for myself that I once had. 


 Yesterday, we found out that there's a girl in our group who's in the last Slimming World magazine. She's lost 10st(!!!!!) and is my inspiration of the week. 


 As for my lousy "fattening" week, I guess I'm gonna try to steer clear of any chocolates, sweets, sugary stuff. Just for this week. I won't hurt, I'm sure. I'm also going to complete (will do my best) my food diary and FIT weekly log (AND try to stick to it this time!) I'll try a different approach: I'll complete it beforehand and do what's in it as if it were a "work agenda".
 I'll come back to you about that next week. 


 =)
 Fatgirl x 


 p.s. First online shopping EVER!!!! 
ASDA, I <3 YOU!!! .... prepared for the week.

  From: http://www.walesonline.co.uk/health-check-wales/health-features/2011/12/11/melanie-loses-10st-to-help-realise-a-dream-91466-29932681/

Pilates class - I don't ever want to be fat again!!!

    Hi, there!
    Well, yesterday I had an "appointment" with Jess, one of the gym's PTs (personal trainer). Jess is cute petite girl with an encouraging and friendly smile and I love the tiaras she wears! haha. No, seriously. The gym I go to has loads of PTs. I was telling my husband the other day how I had chosen her among the other dozen. I went on the gym website and there they have the photos/profiles of all PTs. I didn't want a boy, cause I'm too shy and fat... I went to read the girls' profiles then. I have to confess that I went for the looks first. No, I wasn't looking for the most attractive one (maybe if I weren't married and had gone for a boy PT...), but the less nasty faced one. There was Jess. I then went on to read her profile. It happens that she's lost some weight as well, and I thought I'd hit the jackpot! Great! She looks friendly AND she hasn't always been slim. Lucky me.

   She is brilliant, and encouraging and friendly (I was right! Yeah!) so we have a once-a-month deal. Every month we'll meet for one hour. She will weigh me and take my measurements and update my exercise routine. Yesterday was the first time, and boy... I must admit... she's not in there for fun! It was heavy (literally, the weights were heavy). I did boxercise, weights for the arms, leg presser, chest presser (I'll learn the names of all the machines very soon, I promise), abs, legs, the works! I found out I have NO strength whatsoever in my arms, that I'm to fat to support my own weight, BUT I also found out that I LOVE the Swiss Ball! I had so much fun with it then. I've always been very self-conscious when working on the gym floor, like everybody will be looking at me and wondering "uh-oh... this whale should be in the sea, not on the gym floor. Somebody help her! She's gonna die!"  Well, not anymore. I loved it, really, LOVED it!

    Then I went on to do a Pilates class. That's where and when the problems began. I don't know whether it's because of my big boobs, or the lack of strength in my spine... but in Pilates you HAVE to stand straight and it KILLS! Also, it becomes difficult to even cross your legs when you have a beanbag around you... Sad, painful, embarrassing. =/   I guess I'll try to concentrate on my fat burning classes (aerobics, Zumba, boxercise) and lose some of the blob first and then try anything to do with flexibility again. Afffff!!!!!!
 
     Fat people suffer loads!!!!!!!!
     Never mind, this is about to change. Soon. 2nd day of Slimming World. Going good so far. I've been writing down the things I eat - not counting anything, which is great! - and eating more fruit and veg than I'd ever thought possible.

     Today I found this video on youtube. I thought it was kinda nice:




     I hope you enjoy it!
     See you next time. =)

The ugly truth

     See you next time! =)

The beginning

     Hi, there! This is the beginning of this blog, since I've lost the other one... Lucky I have also started a journal (notebook) and it's been so much fun!!! I rediscovered my love for collage and scrapbooking! =) Cool. At least it's something to keep my hands and my mind busy with something other than food! =P

     So, because I've lost my previous online blog, I have started this one and I'll post here the two first posts I had there. The best thing is that they are in colour! =)  I'm posting pictures of the entries in my journal. Ah, about the pictures... It's just that I'm not so confident to show my face YET!

   This was the first post:

     Yay!!! Apparently it's worked!
     Ready for the next post then. See ya!